married with children
Bringing children into a marriage really does change everything. I really didn't think it would, but it does.
In the beginning, I have to say that it was a struggle. Finding that balance of being married, taking care of a baby, fulfilling responsibilities, and still having fun was tough. I think I resented Alex because I felt like his life really wasn't changing that much. He could still go to work. Still wear the same clothes. Still get some good sleep at night. He was still able to do pretty much everything he did before Liam arrived. Whereas my life was rocked. Most of my clothes didn't fit (some still don't) and finding something nursing-friendly in my closet was a challenge (still is sometimes). My body is...completely different. The physical toll of labor and delivery had me feeling weak and tired. I had this baby constantly attached to my boob, which were always in pain (still are). My emotions were (and sometimes still are) all over the place. There would be times when I would be up feeding the baby at 3am and I would stare at Alex snoring next to me and, well, let's just say I wasn't thinking happy thoughts.
Ten weeks later I think we've really gotten into a groove. Yes, we still struggle sometimes, but for the most part we've figured out how to work as a team. I'm really thankful for Alex and I know I wouldn't be able to raise this kid on my own. Because Alex goes to work everyday I am able to stay home and be with our baby. I'm Liam's main caregiver because Alex works so hard to provide for us. When Alex gets home from work he often cooks dinner, takes the trash out, spends time with the baby while I take a break or finish up chores, walks Jaxon... He never turns his nose up at changing a diaper or helping me in any way I ask him to. On his days off we take turns taking care of Liam. When one of us needs a break or has something to do the other will take over. Really, the only thing Alex doesn't do is breastfeed...and we can't really blame him for that.
We have even slowly been figuring out how to spend time alone together...whether that's getting a baby sitter so we can go out on a date or catching up on tv shows (thanks hulu!) while Liam is sleeping. We definitely don't go out as much as we used to and we're still figuring out how to make time for friends, but I'm sure it'll be okay. We're only two months into this parenting thing, we're still adjusting.
We also started reading this book together called "Just Stay Married." We don't get to it everyday, but when we do it's a nice little way to get us thinking and talking about the spiritual condition of our marriage. Like I said, we're adjusting. Some days are harder than others, but all I know is I am thankful to have Alex as a partner in life. Being married with children (or even just one child) changes everything, but I'm kind of glad it does.