Towards the end of my pregnancy I would tell Alex, "I can't wait to have my body back!" I wanted the kid out so I could feel normal again. Hah! Little did I know that my body would be less my own now that he's out than when he was in. I'm talking, of course, about breastfeeding. My body is constantly feeding this little boy. About every two to three hours we're at it again, and it's exhausting. I wasn't expecting breastfeeding to be quite so taxing. Honestly, the first week was hell. There were times that I cried my way through feedings. The pain, the constant demand on my body. I was really feeling the pressure that I was the only one who could feed my little boy. Others can cuddle him, change his diaper, rock him to sleep...but only I can feed him. The anxiety was almost too much for me. And the soreness...oh my!
Now my precious boy is ten days old and it's gotten a lot easier...we're finding our groove...but we have a ways to go before I feel completely comfortable. There are still times when I want to give up, but I won't, because I know breastfeeding is one of the greatest gifts I can give my son. If there are any other new moms out there struggling with breastfeeding I just want to share what's helped me so far:
1. Prayer. I pray all the time! Especially when I'm nursing because I don't want to have a negative attitude in the process. I don't want to be transferring any negative energy to my son and I don't want my tension or anxiety to affect my milk letting down. So I try to relax and pray for it to get easier.
2. Talking to friends. I have a few friends that have been breastfeeding their babies for a while now and it's been encouraging to get their advice. Us new mamas have to stick together and be there for each other.
3. Perspective. This won't last forever. My body and my baby need time to adjust to this "new normal." Eventually we will get the hang of it and it won't be so bad anymore. Hey, I might even begin to enjoy it more and more.
And here's a photo of Liam...because he is so darn cute.