A Year of Ups & Downs
Parenting is a wonderful blessing, but it isn't all rainbows and butterflies. So in honor of our one year anniversary as parents ;-) I thought I'd compile a short 'ups & downs' list.
- Exhaustion! I have never been so tired in my entire life. I'm sure I haven't had a full night's sleep since before Liam was born. He's never been a good sleeper. He's better now but we still have our struggles. And I'm sure naps will always be a challenge.
- Baby Blues. After Liam was born I had a serious case of the baby blues. It was really hard to deal with. And honestly I still get them to this day. Maybe they're not the 'baby blues' anymore...just a feeling of overwhelming anxiety. It's crazy that this tiny human needs me SO much. He really depends on me. It makes me afraid of something bad happening to me because I never want to leave him without his mama.
- Realizing what a dope I was about parenting before I became a parent. I'd really like to go back in time and slap myself in the mouth for any judgements and assumptions I ever made about raising kids before I actually became a mom. People without children, seriously humble yourselves because YOU HAVE NO IDEA. I think [most] moms do what they do for a reason. No one wants to intentionally harm their child so if you don't understand why a mom is doing something you should lovingly, humbly ask before you judge. Just sayin'.
- Not knowing what to do when he cries. What a horrible feeling when Liam is crying and crying and I have NO idea why. Those instances are less and less these days, but now it's not knowing what to do when he throws a temper tantrum. Aye! Talk about headache.
- MY BABY IS THE CUTEST BABY OF ALL TIME. Seriously, his smile lights up my world. His cheeks. His laugh. His hugs. All these things make me feel instantly better no matter what's going on.
- His curiousity. Liam is such an observant and smart boy. He seriously is. I'm excited to see how he turns out in the future.
- Super Mom Days. Every once in a while I'll have these days where I totally feel like Super Mom. These are generally days in which Liam has had a lot of fun with few crying episodes and I have been able to accomplish a lot around the house, inclusing maybe even throwing dinner together (rare occurence). On these days I feel like I really can do it and maybe I don't suck at this 'stay-at-home mom' thing. ;-)
- Seeing Liam grow, develop, learn, and be healthy. I am Liam's main caregiver and he is thriving. What a blessing! I am so thankful that I have been able to nourish him well (through breastfeeding and now solid foods, which he eats like a champ) and help him learn how to crawl, stand, clap his hands, swim, etc. Of course, these are his accomplishments, not my own...but I like to think I helped him along the way. I just love that I get a front row seat to all his new tricks.
- Learning to appreciate family like never before. I am so grateful that through Liam I have been able to see how important my family is. I think a lot of people in this age and culture only see the negative side of family...they're pushy and overbearing, they expect too much from you, they treat you like you're still 12 years old...but let me tell you, no one is there for you like family is. My mom and dad and sisters and grandmother and my in-laws. They're all amazing and they love Liam so much. Friends are great but family is forever.
That's it in a nutshell. I'd say the ups definitely outweight the downs. :-)
Tiny little newborn Liam. So cute!