I've been s stay-at-home wife/mom for almost three years now. When we moved to Denver in January of 2011 I was newly pregnant and even though I interviewed for a few different jobs I never got hired for anything. I stopped looking and focused on being a housewife and preparing for the birth of our first baby. It was a sweet time in my life and I loved it. As time has passed I still enjoy staying home, but I can't help but want something more. I know that I won't be a stay-at-home mom forever and I'm starting to wonder what I should be aspiring to.
Sometimes I sit here and I have no idea WHAT I want to do when I "grow up." I run through different scenarios in my head and none of them seems just right. I used to think that I should just get a job, any job, to fill my time and earn extra money...but I don't want that life. I don't want to waste my time at a job I don't feel passionately about, even if it pays well and gives me something to do while the kids are at school. I've thought about going back to my teacher's assistant days. I enjoyed working with kids, but ultimately my passion is not in early childhood education. And then there's counseling, I have a master's degree in Biblical Counseling. Some people have encouraged me to get my license and start practicing. Part of me would love to, and part of me still doesn't feel equipped enough to diagnose serious mental health issues.
The more I think about it the more my heart returns to this idea of serving in ministry. I want to work in ministry. Again, I'm not sure exactly in what capacity, but there's nothing else I would rather do. When I was 19 or 20 I felt the call to work in ministry, so I went to seminary and learned SO much during my time there about God and the Bible and ministry, etc etc etc. In the years since graduating from seminary I have focused on ministering to my family, a noble calling, but like I said, I want more. I have a heart for helping people, and at this point in my life I have a heart for helping women in particular.
I don't know where God is leading me, I'm slowly figuring it out. I'm thankful that for now we are in a situation that I can still stay home with my kids and I don't feel rushed to have all the answers by tomorrow...but I'm interested to see where my life will be a year from now if I keep listening to God and following His calling for my life. All I can say for now is...I'm here, God, I'm willing, and I will go where You lead me.