Going Back to Work
I love being a stay-at-home mom. It's certainly not easy. I'm convinced it's the hardest job in the world, but I like being with my babies and watching them grow and learn. I like being able to get stuff done around the house while Alex is at work. I like being able to grocery shop in an empty market on a Wednesday morning. I like having a free and open schedule. And I really love not dealing with a commute! But I don't like how isolated it can feel to be a stay-at-home parent. Practically everyone I know works a regular job. It can be daunting getting out of the house with the kids (so much to pack and what about tantrums?!). And sometimes I think if I watch one more episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse my brain will melt in a steamy puddle of goo.
It's not exactly the most stimulating job in the world...taking care of a toddler and a newborn. Hey, maybe I'm doing it wrong and there are some super moms out there who have all kinds of fun projects for their kids all the time, but that's not me. There's only so much conversation I can have with my kids. And while I enjoy reading books with them and teaching them about shapes, colors, etc...it's not anything new to me. I miss having regular adult interaction. I miss talking about intellectual things. I've never had the opportunity to have a "real job." Scoff if you will, but it's true. I'm almost 30 and I've never had a legitimate, full time, grown up job. That's because I went to college and then I got married and then I went to grad school and then I got pregnant. Don't get me wrong, I've worked plenty of jobs (teacher's assistant, tutor, nanny, etc) but nothing that would resemble a career. I'm okay with that. I dedicated my life to learning, which I loved, and then I dedicated my life to my raising my children, which I also love. But lately I feel like I want something more. I need something that interests me and stimulates my mind. The thing is I'm still not sure what I want to be when I "grow up." I have a master's degree in Biblical Counseling. I enjoy writing. I have experience in the education field. But what can I do?
I still want to make my kids my first priority so it's not like I'm looking for a demanding career. And anything that takes time away from my kids has to be worth it. I'm not going to work a job that I hate. I want to start off slow working very part time and see where that takes me. I'm not sure how it will all play out and maybe nothing will develop for several months or a year, but that's okay. I'm being patient and listening to what God is telling my heart. There's no rush. In the mean time, I'll keep enjoying my sweet baby girl and trying my best to keep up with my crazy boy. ;-)