grow where you have been planted
A while back ago I posted the following picture on instagram:
Admittedly I have a hard time with this. I get so uncomfortable when life gets comfortable - if that makes any sense. I'm always wanting to make big changes and discover new things. Sometimes I wish I could be like Paul and go from city to city preaching the gospel and then moving on. But I'm here. I've been planted here and I have a lot of growing to do.
This is something I've been thinking a lot about lately. Not just in terms of my location, but my life in general. I have been planted in this life as a wife and mother. At the moment I am the keeper of my home and doing some freelance writing on the side. This is not how I pictured my life turning out...and sometimes it's kind of scary.
I often joke with Alex about quitting life. I don't really mean it, but sometimes I just don't even know what to do with this life. I didn't grow up with a stay-at-home mom. I never even knew any stay-at-home moms; so I certainly didn't know how to be one (domestic goddess is not on my resume). And blogging?? This profession didn't even exist when I was a teenager applying for college! Blogging may look fun but believe me, it's a ton of work.
I don't want to sound ungrateful, I'm just trying to be transparent about some of the struggles and fears I have with this place I've been planted. If you would have asked me even five years ago where I would be now, I certainly would not say, "Oh, you know, we'll be living in Miami with two kids and I'll be a stay-at-home mom hustling to make blogging lucrative for our family." Uh, no. Never could have predicted this. And it makes me realize that I cannot predict what I will be doing in the next year or five years from now. Who are these people that have life planned out? I was talking to my sister the other day and she basically has her life planned out for the next three years. I mean, it's not super detailed, but she has a loose idea of where life is going and the next steps she's taking. Me? I have no clue. None.
The only thing I know for sure is I need to grow. I have been planted here and I need to grow. I need to open myself up to God's plans. I need to be still and listen to His voice. I need to allow Him to direct my steps. I need to put fear aside.
Maybe with the new year coming up you're feeling some of the same fears. You're realizing that you're not sure where life is taking you. But you know where you are right this second. Take a look around you. Pay attention. What's happening? What are your passions? Say it out loud. Don't be scared. Where do you feel God leading you? Spend some time alone with Him...in silence...eliminate distractions. He will speak, you need only listen. Where have you been planted? And how can you grow from there?