I'm currently writing this at 2:30 in the morning...because my baby is awake...and crying...and I can't just lay in bed because I will lose my mind. You see, we've been experiencing sleep battles with Isabel for months now. We tried our best to manage it. We've held her, fed her, given her medicine, rubbed essential oils on her feet, driven her around the block, gone for midnight stroller walks, co-slept with her, etc etc etc. We have tried it all. So now we're trying to give her space in her own bed to learn how to fall asleep on her own. Except she is a stubborn one. Good Lord, is she stubborn. And she cries. And, of course, I feel horrible and cry right along with her. And I'm also angry. I wonder where we went wrong and why she has to struggle so much with something so simple. I wish I knew what the heck was bothering her so I could fix it. I know other parents struggle with way worse things, but I'm just angry that this issue prevails in our household.
Experience has taught me that she will sleep through the night someday. This too shall pass and I'll barely remember how exhausted I felt, but that doesn't make going through it any easier. If anything it makes me wish time away faster. And this time is too fleeting to wish it away.
So if you think of us, remember to pray for Isabel's sleep and our sanity. The struggle is real.