he is three

I cried putting him to sleep last night. I've never cried the night before a birthday before. I'm just not that sentimental...not usually. But last night, I cried. 

I started reminiscing on where we were three years ago and how much this tiny boy changed our lives. It feels like another world - a lifetime ago. We didn't realize how our carefree days would get turned upside down. We didn't realize that this baby would govern every waking moment of our lives (and there was a lot of waking and not much sleeping!). We didn't realize that this boy would help us understand the meaning of love and the importance of family. It just happened. It happened so fast, sometimes too fast. I wasn't ready for it. 

And now he's three. I can't even contain the love I have for him. My heart isn't big enough and it all comes tumbling out, last night in the form of tears. He's an amazing boy. He's spitfire and sass and too smart for his own good. He's fiercely loyal and the most fantastic big brother to his darling sister, not an ounce of jealousy. 

And he loves me like no other. I can feel his love - even in the midst of temper tantrums and disobedience. It seems all he ever needs in this world to feel better is a hug from his mom. 

I want to hold him forever. I want to spend every moment with him just talking and laughing and cuddling. But he's growing up. He's going to school and making friends. He's discovering that his dad is really fun to play with. And time won't stop. He will just keep getting older and inside I'll be a mix of emotions - sad, proud, scared, elated. But mostly I'll feel love. Forever and always. 

Happy birthday, sweet boy.