My Fear of Eternity
Something I don't really like to talk about often is my fear of eternity. I feel like I'm a "bad" Christian when I admit to these feelings. I see other believers embracing the idea of heaven and spending eternity with God. I see other believers saying, "Lord, come quickly," while I shudder at the thought. I know I'm supposed to be excited about meeting my Lord face-to-face, but most of the time when I think about it I get sweaty and nervous. I feel as if I'm tumbling down a black hole uncontrollably. I can't wrap my head around the idea of forever. Forever is a long time! I don't know if I can handle that. And what exactly are we going to be doing forever? My mind goes into a tailspin when I start to wonder about all the minute details that eternity holds.
A couple weekends ago I was at the Influence Conference and one of the speakers, Haley Morgan, said something that stuck out to me. She said basically that God will not take something good away without giving us something better in return. So while I look around at my life on this earth and see how good it is, what's coming next will be even better. I have to believe that.
And then I was at church this weekend and the band played a song called O Praise The Name. Here is a portion of the lyrics:
O praise the name of the Lord our God
O praise His name forever more
For endless days we will sing Your praise
Oh Lord, oh Lord our God
He shall return in robes of white,
The blazing Son shall pierce the night.
And I will rise among the saints,
My gaze transfixed on Jesus' face
When they sang those words it reminded me that when Christ returns and we move on from this life, it won't be scary, it will be glorious. All the pain and evil of this world will be no more. And nothing else will matter because I will be transfixed on Jesus' face. Maybe I don't know exactly what comes after death, but I know that I will be with God and that will be enough.
I can't say my fear of eternity is completely gone, I think this will be a journey for me. But little by little I'm learning to trust that God is in control. He has a great and wonderful plan for us, even after death, especially after death.
"Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”" -Revelation 21:1-4