Ministry isn't about me
I've been thinking a lot about ministry and calling lately.
I confess that I was feeling a little defeated in this area. I was starting to believe the lies that Satan was whispering in my ears. I was starting to believe that I was not worthy of pursuing ministry because I have been disobedient in the past.
You see, I walked away from a ministry that I thought I was truly called to...because it got too hard. Now I'm not entirely sure if I walked away in disobedience. Maybe it was God's plan for me to step back, or maybe I just threw my hands up in the air out of selfishness. Nonetheless, ever since I feel as if I've been wandering in the desert, unsure of what my next steps should be. I've been struggling with feelings of unworthiness. I've been trying to rebuild my faith. I've been seeking and praying and hoping.
Yesterday a friend of mine told me something. She said, "Even if you left the ministry in disobedience, He loves you so much to direct you back to the path He has called you to... The plan may change, but the purpose doesn't."
Those words were a healing balm to my soul. How true is that? The purpose of ministry, and of life really, is to bring glory to God. It's all about Him. It's not about me. Perhaps the way I minister and pursue my calling will look a little differently now, but the purpose has not changed. And God is so faithful to bring healing and direction. I can feel changes coming and new opportunities arising.
Don't believe the lies that God can't use you. You are a new creation. You are a vessel of the Holy Spirit. You are a beloved child of God. Give him the glory. Say yes in obedience. Explore the multiple expressions of your calling. Jobs come and go, your calling isn't going anywhere. Be brave. Take that first step. God's not done with you yet.