Halfway Through Lent
We're halfway through Lent and God has been teaching me more than I expected. I want to say it's been a sweet time with the Lord, but I've honestly been doing a lot of wrestling. For some reason, my anxiety levels rose, even though I've been spending more time with God. I was confused as to why I was feeling anxious. I thought that if I was close to the Lord then my anxiety would fall away. But that's not always the case.
I'm reminded of Paul when he said he had a thorn in the flesh that God did not remove. We're not sure what exactly this thorn was, but I believe that my thorn is anxiety. God may never fully remove the anxiety I feel, and as much as I wish He would, it's ultimately for my best and His glory. Psalm 73:26 says, "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." As I experience anxiety I have to rely on God to be my strength and my peace. The only way I get through the episodes of anxiety I feel are by resting in Him and knowing that He's holding me even when I feel as if I'm falling apart.
As I've been doing my readings for Lent through She Reads Truth and the More Jesus study, I've also realized more and more how none of this is about me. It's not about denying myself or being a good Christian. This season is all about looking to God as our Savior, our Everlasting Rock, our Lord, our Restorer. I just keep thinking, "Less of Me, More of Him." And I'm seeing how spending this season focusing on God and the redemptive story of Scripture is truly preparing my heart for Easter.
What has God been teaching you this lenten season?