nine years

Today Alex and I celebrate nine years of marriage. 

Nine years may not seem like a long time to some. We're still young. We're still naive to many of life's hardships. But in our nine years of marriage, we have experienced a lot of ups and downs. 

Last year, around this time, we were in a hard place. I even wrote a blog post about it. It took us some time, but we have been able to move past that wall that seemed so daunting to us then. It's funny because not much has changed about our circumstances. We're still dealing with many of the same difficulties that were plaguing us then. But somehow we changed. We had to learn how to trust each other. We had to learn how to care for one another. We had to learn how best to support each other. 

Through the suffering we got closer to each other and closer to God. I often marvel at my husband. Every time I see him sitting down with his Bible to read my heart leaps within me. Alex is not a reader. I would often get frustrated because I didn't know how to make him see how important it was to spend time with Jesus. This is not to say that he is fake or a hypocrite or anything of the sort. Alex has always been faithful and has had a yearning to be a true follower of Christ. He just had a hard time with spiritual disciplines. And I made the mistake of thinking that I could be God. I thought I could convict him so that he would see how important the spiritual disciplines are. But that's dumb. God doesn't need my help being God. It's not up to me to judge or convict or change anyone. My job is to love. So I put my head down, focused on my own spiritual life (which actually needed a LOT of help), and stopped nagging my husband. And you know what? Little by little I have seen his desire to read and pray grow. God is working in him and it's a beautiful thing. 

Now as we begin our ninth year, with many of the same struggles that were with us when we started our eighth year, I feel lighter. I feel grateful. I feel privileged. I have a man beside me who loves, supports, and believes in me. We have a union that is unshakable. We're walking through this life hand-in-hand. Most importantly, we have a God who guides us and protects us. We look to Him to be the sustainer of our marriage. Thanks, God. 

Happy anniversary, Alex. I don't know why I was lucky enough to find you, but I'm sure glad I did!