in case you missed it

I started contributing to Mom.me this month and it's been really fun. I've mostly been sharing about my experience with surrogacy. 

I've been thinking about being a gestational carrier for a long time. It started with Phoebe from Friends and the desire grew from there. It's not something I entered into lightly. Alex and I have both given it a lot of thought and prayer. I figure not just anyone has this desire so it must be a God-thing. Alex and I just really seem like the perfect couple to do this journey. 

We're very early in the process. I've been working with an agency and we're looking for a match. It can get nerve-racking thinking about everything that needs to happen to result in a baby. Finding the right match is a very important and intricate process. It can't be just anyone. And once you find the right match there are meds and psych evals and embryo transfers and blood draws. It's a lot. 

We've never struggled with fertility. Getting pregnant has been easy for me. But getting pregnant this time is going to be a process. I feel nervous sometimes that the transfer won't "stick." But this is another opportunity to trust in God. If He wants this to happen, it will happen. I don't need to stress. 

As I said before, this is only the beginning of the process. We have a long journey ahead. I am so excited to see what God will teach us and how our hearts will grow. 

If you want to keep up with my surrogacy in journey be sure to bookmark my Mom.me contributor page. So far I've written about why I want to be a surrogate, how I told my mom the news, and what my husband feels about it all. And by the way, I am so thankful for every single one of you who has shown their support in this decision. It means a lot to me to have a whole team of people standing with us and cheering us on along the way. 

I don't care if my husband is alone with other women

I've read a lot of articles that say married couples should have a rule that neither of them should ever be alone with a member of the opposite sex. They say it's to protect the marriage from any temptation. But here's the thing, I honestly don't care if my husband is ever alone with another woman. 

This doesn't mean that I would be okay with Alex having a close and intimate relationship with another woman - but a quick trip to Starbucks or riding in the car somewhere, it doesn't bother me. I think it's silly to have that rule in place. 

If Alex really wanted to cheat on me, he would. No rule about not being alone with a woman is going to stop him. I believe cheating is the result of something not being right in the marriage. If a couple is truly happy and prioritizing their marriage then no third party can come in and tear it apart. But if something isn't right, if someone is unhappy or harboring bitterness in their heart, that's when stuff happens. 

Alex and I don't have any secrets, and actually he really doesn't have any lady friends who aren't my friends also. The women he associates with are honorable and trustworthy. I think it would be unfair of me to jealously demand that he never ever be alone with them. Sorry, but if one of our friends is stranded somewhere and needs a ride home, he better give them a ride. I don't see anything wrong with that. I don't like how this rule vilifies women. As if any woman alone with my husband would be unable to control herself. 

I think rather than have this blanket rule that always forbids two people of the opposite sex from being alone together, we should use common sense. Does your spouse know where you are and what you're doing? Does the person you're hanging out with say or do inappropriate things? Is the activity you're engaging in inappropriate? Because there's a difference between having a business meeting in someone's office and spending the night together in a hotel. 

What do you think, friends? Do you think the rule is a good one to have? Do you agree with me? I would love to hear your thoughts. 

you have influence right where you are

I went to the Influence Conference four months ago and I'm still learning lessons from my time there. One thing that many of the speakers kept reiterating over the weekend was that, "you have influence right where you are." Now, I will admit that at the time I kind of rolled my eyes a little bit. "That's easy for you to say," I thought, "You have bajillions of readers and I have about three." 

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It's taken me a while but I think I'm finally starting to absorb that truth. I have a very small readership but it's my readership. I may not feel like I'm making a difference with my words, but I am making a difference in my own small way. I don't make a ton of money doing this blogging thing, but I'm doing it. And I love it. I am absolutely in love with what I get to do every day. 

Every once in a while I will get an email from someone that says that my blog helped them in one way or another. Every time I get one of these emails it blows my mind. I feel all the warm fuzzies and I'm grateful that God used me and my little corner of the internet. So yes, the ladies at Influence were right...I do have influence, right where I am. 

Maybe you're not a blogger... Maybe you're a mom or you lead a small group or you have regular coffee dates with your neighbor. That's where your influence lies. No one can influence your children the way you can. No one can lead that Bible study the way you can. No one can have those intimate talks with your neighbor the way you can. You have influence. Don't lose sight of that because it's important. 

Mom.me Contributor

Hello friends! It's a new year and today I'm pleased to announced that I'm one of the newest contributors to Mom.me. I'm excited to be sharing my writing on this great site. It's a really fun space that I think you all will really enjoy. 

Check out my contributor link here. Today my very first post is live and it's got a bit of news in it. Something pretty big that I'm planning for 2015. Happy reading, folks!

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