I know I haven't been on here much. I hate posting inconsistently on my own blog, but sometimes you just need a break. Ever since I started freelancing for other websites they have been my priority (because money, know what I'm saying?). And then I start feeling overwhelmed. I have to come up with so much content to keep up with all my writing commitments...and I love it, I really do. But then I sit down at my computer at the end of the day and stare at my blog page and I have nothing left. My brain is just done.
But I would never give up this space of mine...because it's mine. It's the one place I can truly be myself. I can pour my heart out and write freely about my faith and not worry about traffic goals.
I've been thinking a lot lately about women who "do it all." Maybe these women don't actually exist. Maybe these women are a figment of my imagination. But I start thinking about all the things I should be doing: eating healthy foods, exercising regularly, having a daily devotional time, playing intentionally with my kids, connecting meaningfully with my husband, keeping my house clean. I can't even! I don't know how people do it. If I had a full time job outside of the home I would surely lose my mind because there's a whole lot that wouldn't get done. Kudos to all you working mothers. You're all gems.
Today, especially, I've been feeling overwhelmed with all the things. And I realized I need to just stop. It's okay that I have some clean laundry sitting on the ottoman in my room. It's okay that my floors need to be mopped. It's okay that I didn't finish all the items on my to-do list. There is grace upon grace for me. If I could do it all I wouldn't need Jesus. And let me tell you, I desperately need Jesus. I need to stop clinging to my ability to juggle everything and cling to Jesus. Soooomeday I'll learn this lesson. It's a constant battle for me. And that's okay. I'll never outgrow my need for the gospel. I'll always mess up, but I will always run to Jesus when I do. And hopefully as I grow older the mess ups will become fewer and my peace in Christ will increase exponentially.
So yeah, I just need a break right now. What about you? What are you needing? What are you learning? Are you finding your rest in Christ?